Turn that frown upside down

This being Hull even our Smiley faces are bursting into tears. Still if you look behind there's a reason to be cheerful; the pier is now mended and open again and you could dance a polka if you so desired on the new boards, just don't wear high heels.

One in five

Oh he's not going to go on about empty shops again, is he?  Well yeah, he is. In 2015 21% of Hull town shops were vacant, a rise from the previous year of 0.5%. And this is before the Council started their excavations and closures and so on. Now nationally the number of vacancies fell to a rate of 11.5% in town centres. So you'd think there'd be some real concern instead we hear nothing but complacent platitudes from those the council and whoever chose to put forth as spokespeople ... here's one that stuck in my craw: "We're building a world class city centre for 2017!" Well hmmph won't be any shops left by then, matey.

Yes even Heaven has closed its doors ....

Guildhall ball dropping exercise

Peer closely at the top of the Guildhall tower and you might just make out  a ball with pole sticking out of it. Yup not an impressive sight I agree but this is, or rather was, a time signal for ships on the river and in the nearby docks. The ball would be raised up and then dropped at noon, much like the more famous Greenwich ball dropping thing down south. It hasn't worked for donkey's years and indeed I didn't even know it was there until an article in the local rag drew my attention to it. There's been a few attempts to get it going again but all have failed due no doubt to the fact that £50,000 to drop a ball at noon seems a bit of a waste of money given that there's no ships and no dock. But these are mere piffling details; with the City of Culture coming up balls will drop I have no doubt.

Swordfish

Part of the Fish Trail, this rather unhappy looking life-sized swordfish is on Humber Dock Street close to the marina.

The weekend in black and white is here.

Heaping Pelion upon Ossa

“Ter sunt conati imponere Pelio Ossam”.
                                                          Virgil

The Greek myths tell of  giants waging a war on the gods and in an effort to destroy the home of the gods they pile one mountain on another. These days, of course, there are no giants and no gods either. Just the midgets and minnows of the Council who are seemingly waging an undeclared war, not on heaven but on Hull itself. The opening front of this stadtkrieg involves ripping all the pedestrianised areas up in order to lay new paving stones with fountains (they will no doubt squirt you for the sake of civic virtue). The supposed enemy, reeling from this blitz, are then faced with a flanking manoeuvre; the closure for refurbishment of Carr Lane. Ah yes the timing of this assault is exquisite, that is to say, exquisitely awful..
So there'll be four months (better make that five you know how things go round these parts) of upheaval, 32 buses per hour rerouted, pedestrians rerouted, shops made inaccessible in the usual Hull way of cacking things up. I'm looking forward to the inevitable epic gridlocks that will happen; it's bad enough at the best of times. My bus doesn't go down there but, things being the way they are, one little niggle in a road and the whole godforsaken place grinds to a halt. Oh it's going to be so much fun ... but when it's all done there'll be silver paving stones, the road will glisten with gold and people will dance gaily in the brave new world while minstrels will sing songs of praise to the glorious Council.
But as Virgil says three times they tried to pile Pelion on Ossa  ... ah yes the works already carried out in Jameson Street are having to be ripped up and reinstalled because there were "defective".

And while I'm here, and on a roll, I may as well mention the Ferens art gallery, on the left,  is also being done up to make it able to meet the demands of modern day art exhibitions (the Turner Prize for example), the bill for this just recently went up by a cool half mil to £2.8 million. Kerching!

"Quos Deus vult perdere, prius dementat" as no-body ever said.

Nautical gnome

You see some odd things in the marina from time to time ...

A developing picture

Yet another here's-how-it's coming-along image, this stitched together from about eight shots taken from the end of High Street. The second and third buildings are coming along nicely, all just tickety-pickety-boo!. 

Further good news, at least as far as I'm concerned, is that the multi-storey hotel planned for just behind where I took this is now definitely no longer going to be built; the planning consent has expired and the site is for sale. So if you want to buy about an acre of development land in the centre of the city of culture now's your chance; just watch out for the crows.

Crow Town

   Crow Town

   This is a crow town -

   there are no magpies round here.

   Solid black from beak to tailfeather.

   We don’t do your fancy

   piebald glad rags.

   We don’t talk your poncy language.

   We do your straight

   evisceration of live fledgelings

   while the mother squawks.

   No frills, no grace-notes.

   We don’t go for bright gewgaws

   or pinch girls’ earrings.

   We don’t mince about in tidings;

   when we gang up

   they call it a murder.

   We don’t bring bad luck

   or good either.

   Nobody bows and sucks up to us.

   Nobody jabbers silly rhymes.

   This is a crow town

   where crows live and do crow things.

   We want no magpies round here.

                             Margot K Juby

Today being the first of the month the theme for City Daily Photo is 'Where I belong'. Hah! Well I live in or near Hull but certainly have no sense of belonging here, so, well anyway crows are nice ... 

Margot's poem appeared in Old City, New Rumours - Edited by Ian Gregson and Carol Rubens which came out last year; and a strange thing it is too, an anthology celebrating an earlier anthology, wherever will it end this ‘most poetic city in England’. Click on that link to read Margot's review of this collection if you've nowt better to do.

Non-fluttering Non-dancing

It's that time of year when I usually post some harbinger of Spring, snowdrops or pussy willow or whatever. This year it's the little daffodils that the Council or somebody has planted under local street signs. As we've not really had any Winter to speak of (again) maybe the coming month will bring us something colder. As the old saying goes "February builds bridges, and March breaks them".

Carry on up the Khyber Pass

Details, details ... This little putto romping around with a sickle is according everything I can find an allegory of plenty or of Summer; take your pick. (I'm guessing that there are more similar putti in this series representing the other seasons but we only have the one that I know of.) It is situated in East Park's Khyber Pass where a bright stainless steel plaque close by informs us that "This "Folly" was originally the site of a copy of an Arab doorway from Zanzibar, used at the entrance to the East African Pavilion at the British Empire Exhibition held in 1928, and later erected in East Park in 1930." Which is all fine except the the British Empire Exhibition was held in 1924 but that's a mere detail compared to the claim that the folly was actually built in 1885-88 to commemorate the 'capture' (I use the word loosely) of the Khyber Pass by the British Army in the second Afghan War (see here for example). Now I have written in the past that the folly was built from bits of the old Tudor garrison that stood at the mouth of the river Hull. So what's going on? Well I think there's a pinch of truth in all these tales. Certainly a turret from the garrison was part of the folly but was moved to Victoria dock. The original Victorian folly must have been added to in the late 1920's as there was an Arab doorway in the past which has gone who knows where?

Anyhow here's what that East African Pavilion looked like back in 1924 in Wembley when the sun did not set on the British Folly, sorry Empire.

And here's the informative plaque

Ooopsy by Hull City Council

The weekend in black and white is here.

Broken window policy

Jarratt Street, Hull

I don't know how long this quaint window sign has been here but clearly somebody got sick and tired of it ... Seems to be a thing in this place, random window breaking that is. A few years ago I had windows broken on multiple occasions, by what could only be described as uneducated subhuman scum, when I lived close by the town centre, they would just pass by, pick up a brick and chuck ... who would want to live in such a place and with such 'people'?

I must have told you about ...

You all remember the kiddies' water play area I showed, ooh ages ago. The one that shuts in Autumn? Yeah that's the one. Did I ever tell you about the clever guy who designed the sanitation units you see in the background so that they could (and did) leak sewage into the water that Hull's kiddies were merrily splashing about in? The human waste was then added to by generous contributions from the local bird life that abounds in the canopies of the trees, this is all news to you? Surely I must have told you how dozens were affected by Cryptosporidia? No? I didn't mention the thousands of pounds of compo the Council have had to pay out? Gosh I can't think why I haven't; I must be getting old and forgetful. Oh before I forget even more; the place is now shut down permanently and only the geese and crows play there now. Now, I know for sure I've told you how crap the Council is, haven't I?

I'm ready for my close-up ...

Readers with fantastic memories may recall my pathetic attempts to photograph the Goosanders that visit East Park most Winters. Usually they stay out of range of my camera. This time they were practically waiting to have their portraits taken. Only too happy to oblige.

The RSPB claims there are 12,000 pairs of these birds in the UK in Winter. This guy however was more like the MC in Cabaret with his two ladies ... Und he's the only man. Beedle dee, dee dee dee

You're going the wrong way

Another helpful sign, this one on Castle Street.

As the town's traffic problems continue in the usual manner, (somehow Fridays are block-up-the-town days, verb sap to any visitors from out of town) a councillor was reported in the local rag as saying that there things were only going to get worse. It was he said "unrealistic" to expect more roads to be built to ease congestion. The council, he said, couldn't afford a survey into how to improve things, indeed the council cannot even afford to submit a planning application for a Park-and-Ride scheme. Brave, plain speaking you might think especially as the local council elections are coming up in May, but then the voters of this town would vote for a smelly dead dog with a red rosette rather change their ways.

For sale: One vote; never been used.

EU flags on Castle Street, Hull

To assuage the snarling, swivel-eyed, hoopleheaded little englanders otherwise known as the Conservative Party the utterly pointless prime minister has called a completely unnecessary referendum, in June, on whether the UK stays in the EU. I, like I suspect vast swathes of the country, couldn't give a monkey's arse one way or the other. I don't think it'll make a great deal of difference either in or out. So, on the principle (if you can call it that) of doing the opposite of what the Government wants me to do I'm going to vote for out ... but let me be clear I am not unreasonable and I am open to persuasion for a reasonable fee (cash only). Good grief there's going to be months and months of this boring euro-twaddle ... if I hear the word 'Brexit' again I don't think I can answer for the consequences!

The sunlight on the garden

Struggled to find a title for this post. Thought of "all that glisters" la-di-da but I've used that already, or maybe 'patent leather shine' but, nah, that's a bit naff. Margot, she with the English degree, thought Louis MacNeice's

"The sunlight on the garden
Hardens and grows cold,
We cannot cage the minute
Within its nets of gold;
When all is told
We cannot beg for pardon.

Our freedom as free lances
Advances towards its end;
The earth compels, upon it
Sonnets and birds descend;
And soon, my friend,
We shall have no time for dances.

The sky was good for flying
Defying the church bells
And every evil iron
Siren and what it tells:
The earth compels,
We are dying, Egypt, dying

And not expecting pardon,
Hardened in heart anew,
But glad to have sat under
Thunder and rain with you,
And grateful too
For sunlight on the garden. "

might be useful. So, as this was a new one for me, why not ?..., well, blame her...

The good news from Victoria Pier is that the hole caused by the tidal surge two and a bit years ago has finally been patched up but ( & there's always a but) for some reason the area is still fenced off.

Weekend Reflections are here.

The ties that bind

The former warehouse now restaurant close by Princes Quay has an unusual large array of structural ties holding it together.

The weekend in black and white is here.

Now that's really useful

*sigh*

Keep on smiling

Also while I was away the Council finally took a big deep breath and blew down the New York hotel, well maybe a JCB was involved, but anyway it's gone leaving this impressive pile of bricks and dozens of homeless pigeons. The building had only been empty for fifteen years and in a state of terminal decay for nigh on eight so this is really quick stuff from HCC, verging on the impetuous. (maybe I should go away more often) The bill for demolition is thought to be well over £250,000 which the Council thinks it will get back from the owners ... I think I know who is smiling after all this.

Let us spray

Some creative spraying has been going on in the old fruit market area. This, on Pier Street, is by a "collective of Hull based aerosol graffiti artists, mural painters and urban decorators available for hire". I hope they have other colours besides green maybe you can ask them by going here.

Stages of development

I was happy to find that the little pathway that runs alongside the old dry dock has been re-opened so I could have a wander along there this afternoon. As I mentioned in an earlier post some construction is under way in the dry dock. This is to be a small open air stage/amphitheatre for events during the Year of Culture, I don't have to tell you how enthusiastically this has been received amongst those who like to troll the local newspaper. Personally I think it's a grand idea and will entertain many on those warm evenings that Hull is especially noted for, between the end of June and the start of July. As well as a stage there's to be reed beds planted at each end for that eco-friendly look that is so in vogue these days.

Flares and flags

This brought to mind memories of the physics lessons of my distant youth; the angle of incidence equals the angle of reflection or so they say. The thing in the middle is one of a pair rags on this pier; possible entrants in the most tattered flags in the world competition, and a truly heart-warming symbol of the state of this United Kingdom. Rule, Britannia!
 

Weekend Reflections are here.

47 Queen Street

Here's yet another of those old riverside warehouses reused as offices, this one is next door to that C4DI building I showed the other day. It's also the offices of Wykeland the development company that is building the C4DI site so that's handy.

The weekend in black and white is here.

A Scheduled Monument

Catching up with other news from this charming little town and you'll be delighted to learn that, after an exercise in public consultation hitherto unknown in these parts, the local hole has been saved for future generations and is to be extended with seating and a few hedges and so on. This represents a reversal for the Council which wanted to fill it in but had not reckoned without the power of digital petitions and news articles describing that decision as idiotic. (Quite why that particular decision any more idiotic than all the rest is a mystery). So now the litter will have more space to gather in and the youths will have more space to hang around and be disaffected. But history has been saved ...

The few medieval bricks, tucked away in the corner down there, that make up what was once Beverley Gate have now been made a Scheduled Monument by the Department for Culture, Media & Sport (I assume it costs the Government nothing to do this) which means that...., well I don't know what it means, but it sounds good doesn't it.

I've also heard that regarding the dreadful Word Gate proposed for nearby the Council are looking for other sites. They didn't respond to my suggestion that two miles east of Spurn Point was an excellent site.

While I was away

I've only been into town once in about two months or so, so I missed the official opening of this, the C4DI building, that is going to be the fountain of so many brilliant ideas that we will all live happily ever after in a digital wonderland. While the future maybe bright the once gleaming brass skin is already going a bit grubby, sorry, that should read gaining an impressive patina. Work is well under way on the rest of the site and the old dry dock is finally dry with some sort of construction going on in it.

Having another dig

If you've got a few visitors coming round you might tidy up a bit, run a hoover over the carpets maybe sort out those convenient piles of stuff that you like to have to hand. You wouldn't throw out all the furniture and decorate every room all at one go, would you? Well maybe you would if you work for Hull City Council. So it comes about that, with less than a year to the City of Culture thingy, a mad panic has taken over and every street in the centre of town has "works" going on. Well I say "works" but it's hardly a hive of industry, less Ford Maddox Brown more Jerome K Jerome.  And will it all be worth the inconvenience, the loss of customers, the closed businesses, the mess and the hassle? Silly me, of course it will ...

Same old same old

I'll post this and maybe a few more before I disappear again. Hull is like some aged tart undergoing cosmetic surgery at the moment, it's not a pretty sight. Those nips and tucks are all being done in one go so you can imagine the mess.

Woody, Deadly and TTFN

That's nightshade, of course. Above Woody Nightshade or Bittersweet (Solanum dulcamara) and below Deadly Nightshade (Atropa belladonna). Both these plants are poisonous so you wouldn't be daft enough to eat them now would you? And you'd teach your youngsters not to go near them.

Both these pictures were taken by Margot who also grew the plants because she likes poisonous things...

Right I just can't be bothered to do this for the time being so I'll be back when I'm back. Smell you later.

Mission creep

To the sickening braying and howling of a pack wild animals filled with an unsatiated blood lust the Commons after a ten hour so-called debate that was a litany of hypocrisy and cant, voted yesterday to make our streets safer by making the streets of Syria considerably less safe. The RAF likes to practice its killing in the skies over Hull and East Yorkshire presumably because our skies are so similar to Iraqi and Syrian skies.

Yet Another Charity Shop

Charity shop, Hallgate, Cottingham

The long running slow-down in economic activity has been a boom time for charity shops, they were the fastest growing retail sector last year and there's over 9,600 of them throughout the land or so I've read. They're in every town and on every high street. In Cottingham there are seven that I know of, that's more than one in ten shops devoted to raising funds for some cause or other. Now a connoisseur of these places would say that the slightly seedier the ambience the better the bargains to be had and it's a real bad sign when the professionals move in and a Mary Portas style makeover happens. This means higher prices, less stock and a reduction in customers. This one has opened recently for some local charity and has a nice mix of books, bric-a-brac and clothing. All very pleasantly and unprofessionally arranged to appeal to the browsing passer-by on a gloomy afternoon.

'Shop window' is the City Daily Photo's theme for the first day of the last month of the year. See what goodies are on display here.

These are local lights for local people

In a operation to delight the gloomy Grinch, Cottingham's seasonal lights were switched on in strictest secrecy on the other day. The need for subterfuge was to stymie the urge of thousands of non-locals from, ermm, Hull and hereabouts to descend upon the village to enjoy an hour or so of entertainment before the lights went on. Such meetings of outsiders required, it was said, dozens of security attendants to marshall the throng, attendants that the Parish Council couldn't or, I'm guessing, wouldn't afford. Not that I care for Christmas and its attendant pap one way or the other but there was no need to marshall families with little children as they all behaved themselves impeccably. But there must be security or we shall most surely perish or be sued for a stubbed toe or some such. So there's no big switch on, no happy children,  no opportunity for a little bit of business, no party, bah!, humbug!

Bring on the empty trees

West End Road, Cottingham

Fountains and youth

Queen's Gardens, Hull

Security

Creyke Beck, Cottingham

Stick up a fence, slap on a yellow sign and hey presto the world's a safer place ...

T is for pylon

Near Creyke Beck, Cottingham

A recent competition to design a new pylon has come up with a T-shaped thing that is so boring that it instantly appealed to all the judges from the Department of Energy & Climate Change, National Grid, and the Royal Institute of British Architects. Say what you like about these old giants that have been bestriding and despoiling the countryside for eighty years but they ain't dull.

A little rustic diversion

These old straw bales lie, or rather, lay since this was taken yonks ago, somewhere alongside the bridle path between Cottingham and Beverley.

The weekend in black and white is here.