Change of signs

Just two and half weeks now to the C of C and what better time to change all the boundary signs to advertise this auspicious event. Pedants have already moaned at the abbreviated name; "Wot no Kingston-Upon-Hull!" 'tis an outrage! a sin against nature! have they no sense of history! and so on. Still no-one on the planet, not even the pedants themselves, call the place anything other than Hull. If you are wondering what the old signs looked like they were very blue and yellow which may go down well in Sweden but to me they weren't very welcoming. I think this is something of an improvement. The UK C of C thing is going to date in a few years meaning even more signs; it all makes work for the working man to do.

Quite Gratuitous

Well now there's  Margot saying the other day "Oh that'll be removed in a day or so". "What?" says I. "The bare backsides advertising a student accommodation agent" says herself. "The what now? Surely not ..." says I in all innocence. "Oh! ... I see what you mean" ...

And there's more; there's two gentlemen with their trousers around their ankles and the "Your place or mine?" tagline ... and all this on staid old Newland Avenue. There's not be such goings on since a dominatrix was boarded up in a massage parlour a couple of years back.

Now I don't mind a bit of smutty innuendo now and then I mean it's so full of, well, do I need to draw you a picture?. But not everyone, it seems, shares my view which is perhaps just as well. So cue the obligatory social media indignation from the PC (Puritanical Claptrap) brigade, the perennially silly and ever available for a quote MP for North Hull up on her hind legs with Tweets about "sleaze" and "brothels" and "portrayals of sex acts" (such a dirty mind she must have). And the cries of it objectifying women (but not men, note) and "will no-one think of the children" (who see far more and worse on their computers and phones before breakfast) etc etc etc. Those who wished to be offended were duly offended which is as it should be and they are no doubt smugly content.

Anyhow the accommodation agency have "organised the immediate removal of the images" but not so immediate that I was unable to take a leisurely stroll back down Newland Avenue to refresh my memory and verify my facts as it were.

Joining the dots

Do they still have those games for children where you have to draw a line from one number to the next until a kind of hazy picture emerged and you were supposed to think, wow, I drew that? I've often wondered if working in an office might not be just a bigger paid version of the same thing. 

The weekend in black and white is here.

Falling haloes, whips and other seasonal failings

It's that time of year for silly window displays. Here we have some seemingly drunken winking mannequins tottering over to starboard with haloes at what can only be called a jaunty angle. If the intent was to say that angels get their kit at this shop I think it merits a glorious fail.

A few doors down we have a mannequin with a whip for no discernible reason. Maybe for some festive flagellation; who knows. Maybe whipping up trade ... any way another fail I think.

And speaking of failure these shops are on Whitefriargate which, in the past, has had seasonal lighting that at least looked faintly impressive. This year there's a tawdry single string of lights. Pathetic really, maybe they shouldn't have bothered.

Use Alternative Crossing

I may have mentioned, from time to time, the troubles and tribulations caused to this wonderful town by the presence of the A63 sometimes known as Castle Street and universally regarded as a pain in the fundament. Well now Highways England which is responsible for all this decided to upgrade a pedestrian crossing and work commenced in October ... and here we are at the end of the first week of December with no crossing, no upgrade, no work being done, no workers on site, nada, rien, zip!. Questions are asked by Councillors as to just what on earth is going on here (not a lot, clearly). Highways England are the folk who have promised to improve this road but have yet to submit planning applications ("We're working on it", they say and have been saying for years) and if it takes this long for them to upgrade a crossing (come to think of it how do you upgrade a crossing?) then I shudder to think how long any improvements to the actual road will take. 

Just a little footnote here. This crossing is the most direct route to the Marina and Fruit Market area where many of next year's City of Culture events are happening. That all kicks off in a little over three weeks. Just sayin' is all.

Camera shy

I thought I had seen most of this town's statues so it was a bit of a surprise to catch this lump out of the corner of my corner as I was passing through Zebedee's Yard the other day. The reason I hadn't seen it before was that it's in an enclosed yard behind a wall and only visible through iron bars in window-like openings which explains the odd angle. There's a much better picture of it here along with a little info. 

'Ole in the ground, so big and sort o' round it was

After a vote of residents on what they wanted for the remains of the Beverley Gate (aka the Hull Hole) the Council, in its wisdom, decided not to cover up the few old bricks but instead create an even bigger hole with seating and landscaping and so on. Quite how this bigger, better hole won't end up the haunt of disaffected young folks and who will pick up the litter that will inevitably fall in I don't know. Still I'd better not make too many adverse comments or I might end up like the poor chap in this cautionary tale; enjoy: