Christmas Sucks

Oh, give me a noose I can hang from the tree

I need no excuse to end my misery

this holiday season is all the more reason to die.

Oh, pull up a stool lend an ear to a fool

who once found some solace in the season of yule

this holiday season is all the more reason to cry.

I put on my mittens, one green and one red

and I walk alone where they bury the dead

the snow falls as I grieve its a gothic death rock

christmas eve.

The bottle is empty,

the sleigh has a flat,

the stripper in my bed is ugly and fat,

her tassles are tangled and what's worse - my jingle won't jangle.

This time of the year makes me sick to my guts

all this good cheer is a pain in the nuts

when it's your career to be down in the dumps

tidings of comfort and joy really suck.

I feel like St. Nicholas is pulling my leg

this thing we call Christmas is a sorry black plague

this holiday season is....

... all the more reason to die

Peter Murphy & Tom Waits (allegedly)