Old Warty

Avid followers of my dreary tales will know of my pumpkin cultivation (if that is the word, they just romped along all by themselves) and will, no doubt, love to know that the only one that grew anything like a pumpkin ended up as all good gourds do: top sliced off, gutted and crudely hacked about in some really messy ritual. (I don't like Hallowe'en but making a mess still appeals) But then what do you do with the damn thing? Being a novice at this game I put old warty face on the garden gates' spikes  for any passing wildlife to enjoy; plus I'm sure he'll annoy the neighbours (who do things neat and tidy in the garden). He sits there still, a girning, toothy memorial to the sunshine of the summer of '19.

Are you ready for Brexit?

 J. Heebink is a Dutch transport firm with bases in Manchester and MIlton Keynes. Their bright orange lorries are a common sight on Castle Street as they head to and from the port. They've been in business for decades and with a bit of  common sense from all parties, will keep on trucking for many decades to come.

The theme for this month is orange. 

At the end of this month, if certain folk are to be believed and the UK does finally leave the protection racket known as the European Union, the sky will fall in, this country will run out of medicines, food, fuel, folk will be put out of work and we will collapse into a state of complete paralysis with lorries unable to transport goods to and from the EU. This will only happen if the EU chooses to make it happen, let us be clear, it will be their choice to mess with trade; someone, somewhere will have to choose to block or delay the transport of vital medicines...  thus showing what inhuman bastards they have been all along.
It's poppycock (a fine Dutch word), of course, but that is how these scaremongering idiots work. I've given up on the political machinations going on in Parliament, plots here, plots there, plots against plots, court cases to reverse the PM's actions, plots to change the PM, rumours of plots, denials of rumours and you think it and it is happening (possibly, who knows? who cares any longer?) ... all keep the BBC (the biased broadcasting conspiracy) salivating. This parliament is simply not working, the government cannot govern, the supposedly neutral Speaker is in cahoots and conspiring with the Opposition, ... The people cannot have an election because the Opposition is rightly scared of the result and won't let them, so much for democracy. It all boils to one thing: are they, a few hundred MPs, really going to overturn the votes of 17.4 million people and block Brexit completely? Do they think they can get away with it? Well the answer to that is, suck it and see: Oh the Great Reckoning there will be!
Meanwhile the Government is putting out adverts with the question: "Are you ready for Brexit?" to which my answer (and I guess a lot of others) is "Just get a bloody move on ..."

... and still we wait

The promised fountains in Queen Victoria Square have yet to materialise. We are told by a Councillor that "The technology used to operate these features has not been used anywhere else," and "So in that sense they're unique. Issues around that technology are being addressed.". Now as far as I know fountains have been around for thousands of years; how difficult can it be? You have water, you squirt it through a hole, repeat process until bored... These however are fancy fountains with bells and whistles, well coloured lights anyway as you can see in this article from a well known local newspaper. If I were a gambling man I'd put a small wager on these things working on and off for a season or two then being quietly forgotten and paved over.

...and also outside the Holy Trinity Coffee Bar the so-called mystical mirror pools are also still not in place (surprise, surprise) and guess what the reason is? "I can safely say nothing like this has ever been seen before in this country, if not Europe. I prefer to call them glazed paving. They are going to be mystical, magical and I hope quite special...." says the guy who sold these puppies to Hull City Council and "They are definitely the first of their kind in the UK and they're here in Hull." Yeah right, puddles with knobs on, can't wait.

Orange, White and Green

The willow trees on Paragon Street are getting new surrounding walls and some fresh soil by the look of things. I hope the new walls are as comfortable to sit on as the old ones.

Building Tomorrow's Bridlington

You might think that having suffered two years of orange barriers in Hull you would be safe to take a day out and not come across any of these damn things. But no, it seems Bridlington is being regenerated as well which seems to mean knocking down a street of Victorian houses and digging up Bridge Street above. Maybe they'll get some culture too, we've got lots to spare.

The Wrong Way

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well. It were done quickly ...

I hope yesterday's post did not give the impression that the town is cleared of the orange menace. As you can see there's still plenty of it about. Work is still going on and won't be finished until March so I'm told. So if you're in town and want to get from A to B without going via C to Z, it's as well to check out the intricate maze of pathways that have been set out before us. The unwary may be taken several hundred yards out of their way. 

If you think there's an inordinate amount of this stuff going on in Hull it's because the Council claim to be trying to do three years work in one year.  We shall see if might not have been quicker to go slower.

The Orange Barrier Man

Someone has to have the job of taking away all those friendly barriers that have corralled and shepherded us these past months and here is that someone wearing suitable camouflage.

Orange men

Queen Victoria Square was veritable hive of activity as the finishing touches are applied to the multi-million pound make over. We are absolutely assured that it will all be completed this month all that is except the new water features which won't be activated until Winter is over. I toyed with using this for the 'transitions' theme yesterday but I realised that actually nothing much has changed just the size of the brick paving. 

 

The barriers of course remain and if anything the maze has become even more complicated to pass through. In this picture you can see some of the old paving bricks that somehow have survived. They weren't pretty. Below the new paving which is more varied but hardly eye-catching and certainly not worth the months of disruption and loss of trade and business.

Middle of the road

I know it's been a while since I mainlined you with visions of orange barriers so you're possibly feeling mild withdrawal symptoms. Fear not these colourful additions to the townscape will be around for quite a few months more. We are promised completion in December and then again in March next year. Yeah, I know, two completion dates in case one makes you sick.

Nothing rhymes with ...

...orange.

The local rag, unable to come up with anything newsworthy, pretended to send a reporter out to count the barriers in town. I forget the total, it was something like 3,600 of the little orange darlings. I guess we'll just have to put up with them, they won't be here for ever and when they're gone I bet we'll miss them. Strange old world ...

Any colour you like as long as it's orange

A veritable fleet of gas platform supply vessels was filling up the usually empty Albert Dock the other day. These belong to a company called Sealion Shipping and clearly they have a favourite colour and they're sticking to it. It's like a hi-vis jacket for boats.

Barriers to trade

In a chrysophobics nightmare half of Whitefriargate has been barricaded off to allow for work. Each shop has a little bridge to the entrance but it's hardly welcoming. When it's all done we are promised that street will be repaved (I should hope so!), the trees removed (that's already happened!) to allow for an improved view of the architecture, oh and oooooh! wooden seats to admire the view. So nowt much then. Fancy an ice-cream?

It is sweet and right to drive for your country

When I moved to Cottingham about ten years ago one the things that struck me was that there were an awful lot of trucks, just like this one, going back and forth. They weren't all orange but they all seemed empty. What was going on? Well what was going on was that I had moved into the training area of the Defence School of Transport based at Normandy Barracks, Leconfield. This just happens to be "probably the largest residential driver training school in the world"! They take their young wannabe HGV drivers out on the local roads not to universal approbation it has to be said. Over the years you tend not to notice them as they pass by nor when they're parked up down the road for the obligatory cigarette break.Can't be sure on this but I'm guessing tobacco has killed more soldiers than enemy action.