The British way of death

Northern Cemetery Chapel, Chanterlands Avenue, Hull

People, it appears, can no longer afford to die. Yes I know they keep on shuffling off without a care but those left behind are finding it increasingly difficult to pay for disposing of the earthly remains. The average cost of dying, that's including funeral, burial or cremation and state administration, rose last year by over 7% to £7,622 if you believe a survey by an insurance company although that does seem rather a lot. That figure is greater than average savings so you can see how it might distress the bereaved to get into debt over this matter. Clearly someone is making a pile (dare I say they are making a killing, why not?) out of all this; undertakers' mark-ups on coffins, for example, are  reputed to be 200%!. Then there's deeds of grant (£25 a year, minimum 10 years payable in advance) and interment fees, in Hull that's currently £820! And don't get me talking about wreaths and flowers!  Still you don't have to fork out all that; there are cut price jobs for under £1000. If you own your own patch of garden you can always go under the roses wrapped in a blanket for that stay-at-home interment, just make sure you're at least two foot under the sod. 

The chapel here is a grade 2 listed building from the early 1900's, it'll cost you a £70 'chapel fee' to hire it! Have a nice day!

"Take it outside, God boy!"

This set of photos come from the heritage open day back in September. I had thought that there might be something interesting lurking behind the archway entrance to Trinity House School, the old school not the new cereal box conversion on George Street. Well I ought to have known better. As you pass through the arch you are met (or rather were since demolition has thankfully removed it) by a boring brick building, typical school building in fact. Meh! Ahead the entrance to the chapel. Well much money had obviously been spent on sitting bums so that some deity can be bothered by prayers and hymns. There's stained glass, an organ and the usual paraphernalia. What educational value all this had I do not know. My own experience at a Catholic school many years ago led me to one of my few firm convictions that religion and schools should be kept well apart.

Thankfully demolished for a car park!

Dog's Head

The faithful dog - why should I strive 

To speak his merits, while they live 

In every breast, and man's best friend 

Does often at his heels attend.

The New-York Literary Journal, Volume 4, 1821

This piece of doggerel (well pardon me) is, as far as I can find, the first reference to "man's best friend" in print. The local rag has it that the East Riding, and Hull in particular, has one of the highest rates of animal cruelty in the country, but then it was quoting the RSPCA, an organisation that is, perhaps, more of a money raising engine than an animal welfare organisation. This old hound was left to wait its master return from the supermarket and, if you'll allow a little anthropomorphic fancy on this Saturday morning, appears to be regretting its choice of 'friend'.

There will, I suppose, never be a better opportunity  to post this little song by Alex Glasgow.

The weekend in black and white is waiting here.

Déjà vu

The Christmas tree is deepest red

Its plastic leaves will ne'er be shed.

I hadn't been into town for over a month so I missed, if that is the word, the seasonal decorations, save for these remaining red trees which had been recycled from past yules, waste not want not. If this post seems familiar that's because exactly two years ago I posted this. 

Grimston and Jarratt

Grimston Street, Hull

Homœopathy is, like so many things, complete tosh, often dangerous tosh at that, but that doesn't stop the gullible from meeting the duplicitous and both parties 'benefiting' from the encounter. As I understand it the more dilute the dose the more powerful it is, so the oceans must be one hell of a potent source of well being which I suppose explains that ancient joke about homœopaths who drown dying of an overdose. This old fading (but growing stronger with every dilution) sign points to a building around the corner, you want to know what that building looks like don't you? Sure you do ... ever seen a bow-window like that before?

Jarratt Street, Hull

The observant or still living amongst you might remember this sign next to it.

PS. now I read the sign with more care and attention I see that it refers to Princes House, and the dentists is called Princes Denture Repair, well I should try to wake up in the morning and put one and one together... 

Slow Zone

George Street, Hull

For those motorists who have difficulty understanding numbers, and that would seem to be the  majority, the authorities have posted a helpful idiot's guide to indicate the sort of crawling speed they would appreciate on the town's roads. 

Look your last on all things not so lovely

High rise buildings were seen as an answer to a lack of space in inner cities, you couldn't build out so you built up. Strange then that when Hull spread out into the fields and countryside surrounding it in the 1960's building hundreds of Council houses in the fancifully named Orchard Park Estate, it also built several high rise blocks despite there being no lack of space. OPE, as it is tagged by local grafittistas, was designed along the lines of Radburn, New Jersey, a garden city 'planned for the motor age'. Well what might have worked in 1930's NJ didn't quite workout in East Yorkshire. One suspects the crossing of palms with silver may have happened as it did in other slum clearances and redevelopments in other towns across the country at the time. Anyhow a high rise with a country view turned out to be no more popular than a high rise with a view of the back of Paragon Station. Nor did it lead to a community-in-the-air rather a dystopian anti-social nightmare with the usual mix of high unemployment (currently 27%), vandalism, drugs and crime. So to cut a long and sadly predictable story short these towers are being removed either by explosion or gobbled up by a giant building eating machine. This one, Highcourt, is the last one standing and it too should be gone soon with a bang so I'm told. 

Meanwhile in another part of town I read that 5,402 new homes are set to be built in Hull in the next five years. I love the exactness of the figure and the vagueness of the phrase "set to be built". Maybe the palms haven't as yet been crossed with enough silver ...